I Love My Zombie Family

As I may have mentioned once or twice or fifty times before, Halloween is my favorite day of the year.  Costumes are what make my world go round.  And this Halloween was no exception.  I found the loudest, softest, biggest wig I could find, a bubblegum pink dress so liquidy smooth it could have been made of neon pink highlighter ink, and a purple and pink toy guitar that I adorned with Lisa Frank stickers.  Hot pink glitter framed my star-filled eyes.  My legs, wrapped in glittery silver tights, couldn’t stop jumping and dancing for one second.  Yes, I looked truly outrageous.  Truly, truly, truly outrageous.  If you haven’t already guessed, I dressed as one of my favorite cartoon female icons, Jem from Jem and the Holograms

Jem is glimmering, shiny, bright, and oh so PINK.  She is a force, a pop star, a walking disco ball.  Her brilliance is so blinding that if she were real and walking this Earth, martians on Jupiter would see her and become super jealous.  In my wildest fantasies, she is all I could ever dream of being and more.

And dressed as Jem at a Halloween party at a random mansion in Los Angeles this past Saturday night, I felt myself morphing into her.  Strangers approached me for pictures.  Flashbulbs snapped as I posed with Super Mario Brothers, Munsters, and Lady Gagas.  I gulped down endless Malibu Rum and champagne cocktails as I bounced around the party, meeting people I would probably never see again, and if I did, I wouldn’t recognize them out of their costumes.  The freedom of anonymity made the experience all that much more of a fairytale.

I had a blast at the haunted mansion hoedown with some of my closest friends on the planet.  We all held our own, fluttering and mingling amongst the party monsters.  We made repeated trips to the photo booth, as we laughed so hard we thought we might pee our costumes.  We were all together, yet we were all each connecting with different people and having our own acid tripish experiences.

Adam Lambert was ‘scheduled to appear’ at this party, and earlier in the night I joked (and was slightly serious) that if he didn’t come to the party, I would burn the house down.  But by the time I realized that Glambert was indeed a no-show, I was having so much fun that I completely forgot my planned arseny.  Glambert, you missed out.  I have a feeling you really would have loved my eye makeup. 

Once the night was over and we made it back to our slumber party, we all crashed, snoring and drooling, some of us still in full costume.  When my eyes reopened around 8am Sunday morning, I surveyed the living room, mentally laughing at the remnants of costumes that littered the space around me: a majorette hat, the gold leaf headband of Julius Caesar, long wiggly bug legs made of black nylons, and a metallic Marie Antoinette mask. 

As we all slowly began stirring, we sifted through pictures of our festivious blowout, and laughed uncontrollably.  We spent the day in our pjs, flopped about the apartment like glitter-stained slugs.  It was our Halloween Hangover Sunday, and we revelled in it.  The self-appointed ‘mom’ of our group made us a brunch feast that some of us gobbled up, while others of us couldn’t yet stomach the thought of food consumption. 

We were there all day, first watching a Kathy Griffin stand-up marathon, and then moving onto spookier material, like Child’s Play, Zombieland, and Teen Wolf.  While watching Zombieland, the hero in the movie said he had found the family he had always wanted.  I looked around at all of us, cozy in our blankets and pajamas and matted bedheads, and with a swell of intense affection I announced, “We are a family.”  We all laughed and agreed, another one of us saying “Yes, a zombie family!”  And we were zombies, half brain-dead, slightly green-faced ghouls, slowly moving about our home with the staggered limps of the walking dead.

And just as the townspeople and high school students in Teen Wolf accepted and celebrated the Michael J. Fox teenage wolf that lived among them, our family accepts and celebrates each other’s freakish creature traits.  We are a zombie teen wolf family, destined to be together eternally.  Death may one day try to do us part, but death will surely fail.  

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One Response to I Love My Zombie Family

  1. J.Lo says:

    This is terrific!

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