The Lost Vampires

I’m all for the current vampire craze.  True Blood is just plain hot.  But what about the vampires of our childhood?  They deserve some mortal love too.  Is it just me, or is Count Chocula kind of attractive?  He has a bottomless bowl of crunchy chocolate, which is every girl’s dream.  He’s also got that distinguished Peter Gallagher bushy eyebrow thing going for him.  And what about that deep, booming, “I vant to suck your blood” voice?  Those glittery pale Twilight vamps have nothing on him.

And let us not forget Sesame Street’s Count Von Count.  I’ve always gotten him confused with Count Chocula in my brain.  I think they must be Transilvanian cousins.  They both dress the same and rock the Gallagher brows.  Sure, his fetish for counting is a bit disturbing.  However, he can count Cookie Monster as a friend, so he must be a pretty good guy.  And he seems to have a sense of humor since he’s always doing that spooky “ha ha ha” thing while counting.

And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, is Keifer Sutherland’s David in the Lost Boys.  The way he snarled at everyone from the back of his motorcycle as he rode through that creepy carnival has always made my heart beat faster.  His bleached blonde bad boys ways make me swoon.  Not to mention he can FLY.  And all he really wanted really was to be friends with that uptight, Richard Marx hair wearing Michael.  He just needed a friend.  David, I’ll hang out with you in that insanely kick ass lair of yours anyday.

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This entry was posted in Cinematic Slushie, Lusty Luau, Pointless Importance, Too Much Television. Bookmark the permalink.

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