MTV is turning 30. That bitch is getting old, but damn it, she is still younger than me. To celebrate, VH1 Classic is playing old school footage all weekend long. Since turning it on around 7:30 this morning, I’ve been treated to a live performance by Rick Astley on Club MTV featuring the shoulder-padded bad dancers of yesteryear, baby-faced Beastie Boys running around a snowy NYC as drunken guest VJs, super young Janeane Garofalo, John Stewart, and Chris Kattan openly mocking Journey’s Separate Ways video frame by frame, and so much more.
Sometimes you just need a juicy Madonna/Britney tongue kiss and the blinding white of Marilyn Manson’s ass cheeks to remind you how much you truly love your generation. Now excuse me, I have to go. Debbie Gibson is about to sing her “new hit” Shake Your Love, and suddenly I’m 10 years old and I have to dance my face off to the routine my sister and I choreographed for this song while wearing our PJs.