This past Saturday night, a few friends and I attended the Scissor Sisters concert at The Hollywood Palladium. We met at The Well, this really great, dark, loungy bar in the building across the street from the concert venue. I ordered a cucumber press, which is cucumber vodka mixed with tonic. It comes with a slice of cucumber that sits perched on the side of the glass. I drank a few of these cucumber drinks before we scurried over to the dance the night away to the queens of glam disco.
After having another cocktail at the venue, I went to the restroom. As I was washing my hands, I noticed in the mirror that something was attached to my long pink and orange neon necklace. I looked down, and it was a cucumber slice. It had somehow attached itself to my dangling necklace and I had been walking around with it for who knows how long. I thought about taking it off, but then realized no, if this cucumber wanted to throw itself onto my accessory, then maybe it just wanted to dance too. I ran over to my friends and showed them my new vegetable medallion. One told me that he had noticed something on my necklace but thought it was just a part of my jewelry.
We entered the main dance floor and the opener Rye Rye took the stage. We proceeded to drink and dance and inappropriately bump and grind all over each other and surrounding horrified strangers. Once Rye Rye finished performing, it was time for another restroom break. As I was in the stall, I looked down and saw my little cucumber on the floor right under the door. I thought that I should pick it up and put it back on my necklace, realized that was a really gross thought to have, but then figured I felt like being gross.
Just as I decided I would pick it back up, a rubber gloved hand appeared from the other side of the stall door and snatched up my new circle friend. I could see it being placed into a garbage bag, and it was gone.
The cucumber had lived for at least an hour on my necklace. I guess it was really just a Rye Rye fan, and didn’t have the will to survive the Scissor Sisters show. But I was honored that it had danced with me for the short time we had together.
Goodbye forever, you sweet slice of hip hop cucumber. I’ll think of you fondly the next time I eat a garden salad.